Yesterday I received some incredible news that I wanted to share, but I also know that my experience with the intrinsically cruel nature of the universe would be that it would take me behind the woodshed and pelt me with my unhatched chicken eggs had I counted them yesterday. The news was confirmed today though and now I feel safe charging towards the football certain that the cosmos won’t Lucy Van Pelt it away at the last second.
“The news! The news! Tell us the news already; enough of your tired analogies and axiomatically annoying metaphors you handsome devil.” rises the collective ennui from the crowd. Alright then, so be it. Without further ado I would like to introduce to you for the first time anywhere (drum roll ensues)… the newest contributing blogger for Babble.com’s Strollerderby!
Babble is a behemoth of an online parenting magazine and community and its crown jewel Strollerderby is its “Mother of all Parenting Blogs” and they like me, they really like and want me to contribute daily post(s) about issues facing the modern parent. (Thank you Karen at Lion and the Magic Boy for suggesting that I apply, Whit over at Honea Express for putting in a good word for me, and Rachael at Redsy for basically holding her breath until she ironically turned blue and got me hired)
I’m a little concerned about the mandatory pacifier nipple rings and Yo Gabba Gabba Tramp Stamp, but what I’m most anxious about is the influx of additional posts that I am going to be writing. I’m already NaBloPoMo’ing until midnight every night and now with Strollerderby I’ll be adding to that a minimum of 5 additional posts per week. I’m becoming as prolific as a Post-Modern Day Alexandre Dumas; a veritable Count of NaBloPoMonte Cristo. What am I thinking?
OK Bill calm down….deep breaths….I know this is dramatically shorter than the theses I usually nail to the doors of the Interweb, but it is getting late here on the East Coast, I’m having a bit of an anxiety attack and I wanted to resound my barbaric yawp across the rooftops of the world before midnight.
“Aaugh!”
Make it a Double 