Have I Always Been This Awesome?

cooldad.jpgPeople often ask me, “Have you always been this awesome?” to which I respond “All questions must be directed through my publicist. Autographs are $100. Get that camera out of my face.” But the answer to that question is simple, “Yes, I have always been this awesome and I have the photographic evidence to prove it.” And thanks to Wordless Wednesday I’m going to let these pictures speak for themselves; for the most part.

(There were many to choose from and I apologize for the quality and the graininess, but without a scanner I was reduced to the picture of a picture method.)

chipndale.jpg

Here’s a rare photo of me backstage at SNL. I was a stand in for Patrick Swayze in his Chippendales dance-off competition skit with Chris Farley. As much as I wish that was my hair behind my right shoulder it’s only a shadow…or should I say a Shadöe?

purplerain.jpg

Dig if u will this picture. Maybe I’m just 2 demanding, but I insisted that all my pants had suspenders attached to them. Maybe I’m just like my father, he wore his collar up 2. I was rehearsing for my How To Lip Sync Speech for English Class the next day. The Purple Rain poster on the wall served as both an inspiration and a girlfriend deterrent.

yearbook.jpg

The half-fro mullet, skinny tie, over-sized jacket, that hungry like the wolf look in my eyes was it any wonder I was voted most likely to be Awesome. And you know what? They were right.

neckcone.jpg

Present Day: Just me being an awesome Dad and spending some quality time with the boys. The neck cone, or E-Collar, is just so I don’t lick my genitals.

 

There you have it. Undeniable proof that I have always been this awesome. That’s all for now. I was just able to get the E-collar off so I’m going to get down to business. Happy Thanksgiving.

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17 thoughts on “Have I Always Been This Awesome?

  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA…. What a glorious mullet! *gasp, choke, wheeze*

    Why do I not doubt that you would need to wear a physical deterrent for genital licking?

    The look on Jack’s face is priceless.

    But then again, I think I’d have that look on my face if you were grabbing me in a mad, genital-licking-deprived state of mind. Poor babies.

  2. OMG this is too funny. The one for SNL is particularly funny, as if you’re saying YEA I’M ALL THAT, and WANNA PIECE OF ME?!

    Now I’m going to go and shake my head until these images are forever gone from my memory.

  3. LMAO!!!!!! Oh the hilarity…I think I’m shedding tear over here…not sure from laughter, or because I’m shielding my eyes from “hungry like the wolf” stare.

    Jack’s face is just begging for you to wear that on his next playdate…

  4. How funny that you have a SNL reference in your Wordless Wednesday… for mine I referenced the Church Lady. You are too cool for letting everyone seeing the first picture (you topless in suspenders). That takes guts, HAHA HA!

  5. Wow, may the 80’s always stay far away. It’s bad enough that I was only a lil’ un then and I remember the terrible crimper, sideways ponytails, parachute pants, and slap bracelets.

    Nice cone, hehe.

  6. Oh, you are a brave man. Wicked suspenders; I loved that SNL skit. And that is an awesome fro-mullet, should go down in the history of mullets.
    You rule…awesome, you are, totally awesome.

  7. Sarcasticmom: grabbing at you in a mad genital licking deprived state of mind? Were you my date for the Junior prom?

    Sweetisu: you’ll never get them out of your head….never.

    Momisodes: the stare goes through anything. Just submit to it.

    Michelle Gartner: I’ll have to go check out your post. Guts? Why? 😉

    Michmolk: He was my sensei

    Whit: Quid pro quo Whit.

    Thebutton: may they live in our hearts forever though. It was a broken lampshade… it scared the shit out of the boys

    Vijay A: Glad you enjoyed my humility

    Lisa: what’s sad is that these aren’t my best.

    Pete Aldin: You’re welcome. Any other questions?

    Karen: Historically great mullet? Thank you …I’m choking up here. That means so much to me.

  8. Pingback: That Horse-Toothed Hermaphrodite Is Wearing An Eyebrow Headband « Make it a Double

  9. Awesome indeed…the Chippendale thing is hilarious, all you need is a hundred screaming ladies waving dollar bills at you. The suspenders are sooo cool. Did you really need them to hold up your pants or was is strictly looks?

  10. At first, I was thinking, “Hey, Wilfred Brimley, here’s your oatmeal for those suspenders.” The bow tie really finishes that first pic.

    Second pic: I think I remember you as Mime Number Two on the streets in New York. Did I leave you enough change?

    Seriously though, Bill Gathen, you have some admirably giant balls to post these pics of your suspenders and advancement from wee man to big guns. But, I suspect it is all of that genital licking that caused your giant ball trouble. They make a cream for that.

    (insert appropriate smiley face to indicate I am just yanking your chain)

  11. Pingback: Then and Now- How Two Decades Changes a Man « Make it a Double

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