Maybe It was Something I 8? (I’ve Got Worse Delivery Than a One-Armed OBGYN)

magic8.jpgI got bagged and tagged for the Crazy 8’s meme by Lotus Carroll at Sarcastic Mom and she should know she has taken my Meme virginity. I also want everyone to know though that she was a thoughtful and passionate Memer and I’ll never forget her. Day 6 and I’ve resorted to a NaBloPoMeme for a post? Dear Lord… Well, here goes nothing…

8 Things I’m Passionate About

1. Jack and Adam – My two sons. My greatest accomplishments. My greatest challenges. Being a father though flip flops between feeling natural to feeling unnatural more often than Former Sen. Fred Thompson flip-flops his position on the Fair Tax Bill. (How’s that for obscure strong-armed political commentary?) I’m determined to be as good a father to my boys as my father is to me.
2. Running – I was always the “fastest kid in school” and… (please look away if you don’t want to see me toot my own horn, unless that turns you on. Does that turn you on? Do you like it when I toot my own horn?)…and have run 3 marathons and a ½ Iron Man Triathlon. (Swim, bike run) As corny as it sounds, running is one of the only times when I feel strong, in control and invincible.
3. Writing – In person I’m closer to troll than to droll, but on the page I can craft a line, labor over every word, pace a joke and deliver a punch line. In person my delivery is worse than a one-armed OBGYN.
4. My Wife: A saint for putting up with me. Truth be told, I’m a tremendous jackass.
5. Laughter – In every situation I default to the joke, almost to a fault. I am inappropriately irreverent at all times and am hardly ever serious. I’ll even make the obvious joke regardless of how hackneyed it is. Today someone commented on my About Me page that my cat should quit smoking (Marlboro Menthols) and I wrote back that he’s trying to quit but now he’s got Cat Patch Fever. What?
6. Poetry – Little know fact about me, I write poetry. Lots of it. Mostly in the same vein as Billy Collins former US Poet Laureate.
7. Baseball – Lifelong Yankee and baseball fan. (Arggg…Damn Red Sox!) From April to the end of October are the greatest months of the year. Gods of the dugout, robes decorated with the stains of chewing tobacco shelled sunflower seeds lying among the batting helmets one leg up on the steps staring out into the artificial daylight of a night game. Gods of the on deck circle and batter’s box swinging an extra bat anticipating their trip to the plate unconsciously executing their rituals digging in their heels obscuring the edge of the plate in a dimming eclipse of the strike zone. Gods of the pitcher’s mound, toeing the rubber, juggling the rosin bag on their knuckles, checking the count, checking the base runners, checking the signs. Gods of the base path the foul pole the warning track.
8. New Friends – There is nothing better then meeting new people you never thought you would meet who get you, who make you laugh and who make you a better person.

8 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

1. Have a daughter: Shhhhhh… don’t tell my wife. She doesn’t know.
2. Publish a book of Poetry – Hey NaBloPoMoetry? One of these posts I’ll bare my soul (please look away if you don’t want to see me bare my soul, unless that turns you on. Does that turn you on? Do you like it when I bare my soul?)
3. Travel to Ireland/Italy/Spain – Really, do I need to further explain this one? You all understand, right?
4. Complete the Iron Man Triathlon in Hawaii – The Lava Fields? A marathon after a 2.4 mile swim and a 112 mile bike ride? I will do this.
5. Do a set as a stand-up comic – Sarah at Imaginary Binky and her hobnobbing comedian husband rekindled this pre-humous yearning.
6. Chug Red Bulls and Vodka with Tina Fey in David Letterman’s Green Room.
7. Be a Grandfather – And I insist on being called Poppy. Non-negotiable.
8. Survive a plane crash on a tropical island then kill a polar bear and organize an army to fight against the others. God damn I miss Lost.

8 Things I Say Often:

1. Jack. Eat. – I say this a few dozen times a day.
2. Take a bite – a subcategory of the above
3. So I got that going for me, which is nice. – from Caddyshack
4. Look at you, you Baby Gorilla – One of my best friend’s nickname is BabyGorilla. The line is from a movie called Dirty Work.
5. Children Love an Acrobat. – This is from Scrooged. Jack hates this line for some reason which makes me say it all the more.
6. Well there you are, James! – Another line from Scrooged. I’ll say to Kathleen, “Where’s Adam?” and at that moment Adam will toddle around the corner. “Well there you are, James!” It just seems to work for us.
7. Oh No! My chicken is gone. – From a song that Jack learned at school this year. I don’t know what it means but it’s funny as hell.
8. Say What? – The word “say” is said low in a baritone voice. Then the “What” is all falsetto in a questioning tone. Say What?

8 (actually 9) Books I’ve read recently: (this one is going to be pretty lame since the only reading I currently do is with Jack during our nightly reading for eating bribery session during dinner)

1. The Magic Treehouse #1 – Dinosaurs Before Dark
2. The Magic Treehouse #38 – Monday with a Mad Genius
3. The Edge Chronicles #1 – Beyond the Deep Woods
4. The Edge Chronicles #2 – StormChaser
5. The Spiderwick Chronicles #1 – The Field Guide
6. The Spiderwick Chronicles #2 – The Seeing Stone
7. The Spiderwick Chronicles #3 – Lucinda’s Secret
8. The Spiderwick Chronicles #4 – The Ironwood Tree
9. The Spiderwick Chronicles #5 – The Wrath of the Mulgarath

8 Songs I Could Listen To Over And Over: (I’ve decided to cheat on this one.)

1. Anything by the Foo Fighters – I have such a man-crush on Dave Grohl
2. Anything by The Beastie Boys – Been Listening for 20+ years
3. Anything by Van Morrison – There’s no one like Van Morrison
4. Anything by The Rolling Stones – Absolutely anything.
5. Anything by Pearl Jam – Most influential band in my life
6. Anything by Ella Fitzgerald – My Queen of Jazz
7. The Buena Vista Social Club album – Ever listen to it? Get it today.
8. Three way Tie between Jack Johnson, Ben Harper and Norah Jones.

8 Things That Attract Me To My Best Friends:

1. They call me back
2. Complete disregard for societal norms
3. Disposable income
4. Love of Wine, Women and Song
5. Yankees Fan
6. Will play golf with me at 6:00 am on a Sunday Morning and supply the bloody marys
7. Accepts me for who I am
8. Will have sex with me

8 People I Think Should Do Crazy 8’s:

1. Sarah at Imaginary Binky
2. Chag at Cynical Dad
3. Sandy at Momisodes
4. Lisa at Refuse to Blog
5. moxiemom at Moxiemom
6. Steve at Baby Daddy
7. Whit at Honea Express
8. Tara at In My Copious Free Time

There are so many other funny and brilliant new friends I’ve made through NaBloPoMo but in the interest of time and space I simply cannot include them all. You do not like it so you say? Try it, Try it and you may. Try it and you may I say.

So now I’ve exposed myself to the world. Please look away if you don’t want to see me expose myself, unless that turns you on. Does that turn you on? Do you like it when I expose myself?

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18 thoughts on “Maybe It was Something I 8? (I’ve Got Worse Delivery Than a One-Armed OBGYN)

  1. NaBloPoMoetry!!! LOL Now that’s a good one.

    Oy! That’s an awful lot of answers to come up with there, but okay, I’m game. I’ll add it to my growing list of upcoming blog posts.

  2. Jeez. I guess I MUST do this now that Lotus and you have tagged me. Haven’t I given enough, Internet? Haven’t I given enough?

    As for you…
    I wish I had the stamina to run far and away. I was a sprinter, not a distance runner. Good on ye.

    There are a million clubs in NY for baring your comedic soul. Try it. You may fail, but so did the rest of them the first time or two (or twenty).

    I could have written your first #5 answer (default to the joke). It is my strength and weakness. You are a bleeding heart who boozes it up and listens to Van Morrison? I just might have to put you in my pocket and pet you forever and ever.

  3. AHH! I’ve been tagged! You sneaky, sneaky NaBloMoPo-er. Now you’ve done it. You’ve given me homework….alright Mister Gathen, I’m on it. Like white on rice.

    BTW, all hail Ella Fitzgerald! Anything and everything touched by vocals is legendary. We named our little wailer after her.

  4. I thought you felt kind of tight.

    I think you should toot your horn while exposing yourself as you bare your soul. That would turn ANYONE on.

    I like to say, “Sometimes you have to SLAP them in the face just to get their attention!”

    Great song list. Ella Fitzgerald and Norah Jones, especially, but the others as well. Music = Sex.

  5. Lisa: It is fun to do, but you’re right it did take me longer than a usual post. Keep an eye out for some of that NaBloPoMoetry.

    Imaginary Sarah: Will you name me George? When/where does the hubby go on stage? I’d like to see him perform (on stage) and booze it up. Does he have a list of upcoming performances? Yes…I’m a bleeding heart who hits previous track repeatedly to re-listen to Tupelo Honey.

    Momisodes: Ahhh Ella … she enchants me. She has an obscure track called Hernando’s Hideaway that is just spectacular. Love that you honored her with your own daughter. Get going on the Meme, it took me hours to finish.

    Sarcastic Mom: Music is an aphrodisiac. A NaBloPoMoPhrodisiac. At lunch I’ll be on the corner of River and Congress in Troy, NY tooting my horn while exposing myself as I bare my soul if anyone is interested. Is that Slap line from Scrooged? If it is then yer totally cool.

    Mary: Meme is like cultural information that is disseminated virally and propagates around sometimes mutating as it propagates. Huh? In the blog world I think it’s just a list of questions that everyone answers. The One-Armed OBGYN was a stretch …. Yikes …poor choice of words there.

    Jana: I heart Dave Grohl and wish he was my BFF

    Karen: Agreed. This was difficult. Especially the passionate list. I’m mostly apathetic…this took a while.

    Wife(Kathleen): I didn’t say today. A man can change his mind can’t he? 😉

  6. Wow. I have been hit with two meme requests in ONE week. And before, I was a virgin.
    I guess people realized I am JUST THAT EASY

    So I already wrote a meme this week: 4 things About me.
    I’ll assume that will suffice since I wouldn’t want to bore people with another meme post.

  7. Dinosaurs Before Dark? Awesome book!

    “God damn I miss Lost.” Took the words out of my very soul!!!!!!!!1

    Oh, and you’re gonna have to tell your wife about the daughter thing sooner or later -assuming she’ll be involved in the process.

  8. Best darn meme I’ve read in awhile…Are you sure it was your first?

    Magic tree house? How could you not get secretly addicted to see what Jack and Annie do next? We’ve read them in order and just finished #25. Good stuff…

    ok that was lame to admit wasn’t it?

  9. Pete: She already knows …she’s a reader. I hear Lost may be cancelled this season due to the writer’s strike! Damn writers… come on! Entertain me.

    Crookedeyebrow: rookie luck I guess. We read number 1 then Jack won #38 signed by the author at Barnes and noble so we read that next. We were all like “You won You won!” and he was like, “Yeah so?” you’re not lame…no more than i am 😉

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