What’s Halloween without Pirates, Patriotism, Poop, Plastic Hair, and Performance Enhancing Drugs.








Looting and pillaging is in my blood, savvy? So take me Trick or Treating or I’ll send you to Davy Jones’ Locker, where I hear he’s giving out candy corn.








The eagle has landed and pooped his pants. God Bless America and super-absorbent diapers.








I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, my dreadlocks are three feet long and made from genuine horse hair. Really? I’m Superman, my hair is made from recycled plastics and is both dishwasher and microwave safe.








Suspicions that Spiderman has been using performance enhancing drugs were confirmed last night when he tested positive for anabolic steroids, Human Growth Hormone (HGH) and Laffy Taffy.


America, have U heard? I got a brand new dance and it’s called “The Bird”. U don’t need no finesse or no personality U just need 2 arms and an attitude and everybody sing with me. Come on now!








“Ello, beastie.” Jack stares down the most feared creature of the seven seas and suburbia, the Snacken: the house where they give away healthy foods instead of candy. “Put an apple in my bag and I’ll put my sword in your eye.”


9 thoughts on “What’s Halloween without Pirates, Patriotism, Poop, Plastic Hair, and Performance Enhancing Drugs.

  1. Holy cow, that’s some funny stuff. The duel between Cap’n Jack and Superman is hilarious!

    I can’t wait until my little man can participate in such shenanigans. His reaction to everyone at our door last night: AaaaahHH! More people covered in potentially hazardous, made in China plastic!

  2. Pam: No doubt. With all those muscles Spidey could hardly lift his arms. Two hits. Cap’n Jack hitting Spidey, and Spidey hitting the floor.

    imaginary binky: Superman’s Tupperware Toupee was classic. I basically had the same reaction to everyone who came to our door last night. AaaaaaaaHH! Get off my porch!

  3. It was great! It is fun being a Nana. You don’t need to do anything but go along for the fun.
    The little guys were great. Nice work making the costumes Kathleen.

  4. Blink, blink
    Are you serious? Your wife made the costumes?
    She IS a saint

    My husband is a stay-at-home Dad while the kids go to daycare/kindergarten full time. Nice life huh? It’s a good day when he throws a load in the laundry!

  5. moxie-mom: What that woman can do with a needle and thread…a rare talent she is. Your husband is the luckiest man in the world it sounds like. Sweet deal.

  6. You’re right–Jack and Clare would make a very cute pirate couple. She’s into older men though–some as old as seven–so he may have his work cut out for him.

  7. Darren: He’s mature for a five year old. I’ll give him a puncher’s chance….as he pummels the other guys for looking at his girlfriend. There’s a bit of a jealous streak in him. We’re working on it.

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