Catch BRS Early By Using S.H.U.T.U.P.

saltshaker_225.jpgOur oldest son, Jack, suffers from BRS (Broken Record Syndrome). If we were better parents we would have caught it sooner; all the early indicators were there, but we missed them. The constant uttering of the same statement, the continuous repetition of same phrase, the reiterating of the same question ad nauseum until I developed facial tics; all the signs pointed to BRS. It wasn’t until our trip to Maine earlier this month that we finally recognized the signs, but by then it was regrettably too late.

It all began on the drive out. We were still in Massachusetts about two hours from Maine when Jack triumphantly exclaimed from the back seat, “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?” I told him that it was probably just the bag of pretzels on the seat next to him, but he insisted it was the ocean so we agreed and told him we could smell the salty air too which meant we were almost there. We arrived in Maine around 5:00pm and after unloading the car we drove immediately to the beach. With the back windows open Jack took a deep breath and said again, “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?” I told him I could and with that he closed his eyes took in another deep meditative breath through his nose and was silent until we reached the beach.

When we exited the car and walked on to the beach:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: “I sure can Jack. I sure can.”
What I thought: “I sure can Jack. I sure can.”

On the way to the back to the rental house:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: “I can Jack. I can still smell it.”
What I thought: “I’ve smelled it for a few hours now Jack. I’m actually pretty sure I’m going to wake up tomorrow with a horse’s tongue in my left nostril.”

Playing mini-golf:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: “A little bit Jack, but we’re kind of far from the shore right now. Hey, did you count that second shot?”
What I thought: “OK, at this point Jack my olfactory bulbs are essentially bouillon cubes and every time I sniff I taste consommé.”

Building a rock wall:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: “It’s sort of strong so close to the water isn’t it?”
What I thought: “I just got a call from Jimmy Buffet. He says he wants to see me. Jack, we both knew this day would come, we couldn’t hide it from him forever.

Jumping waves:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: “Give me a second here Jack; I just swallowed about a gallon of water.”
What I thought: “I actually plan to break the sound barrier on my mucus membranes later in my twin turbofan jet-powered car called The Snot Rocket.

Digging for crabs:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: “Couldn’t I just buy you a crab?”
What I thought: “You know Jack, in the bible it is told that as they fled Sodom, Lot’s wife did not heed the angel’s words and upon looking back was turned into one of my nasal cavities.”

Walking home from the beach:
Jack: “Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”
What I said: (Nothing. My eye started twitching)
What I thought: “Jack, this winter I’ll be able to tap the bridge of my nose to de-ice the driveway.”

Whereas I reacted to my son’s BRS by sarcastically mocking him under my breath, it’s not too late for me to help other parents who might have children suffering from this debilitating syndrome. Did you know that whereas every single child in history has suffered from BRS, most parents can’t identify a single symptom? Which is why I developed a catchy acronym that may help parents get their kids to S.H.U.T.U.P. Recognizing when your child has BRS and getting them to S.H.U.T.U.P. can significantly increase the chance of you, the child’s parents, retaining your sanity. Learning to recognize BRS is important and easy, just say S.H.U.T.U.P.

If your child displays one, some or all of the symptoms he or she may be suffering from BRS.

Says the same word/statement/phrase/question over and over again
Has been saying the same word/statement/phrase/question over and over again
Utters the same word/statement/phrase/question over and over again
Tendency to say the same word/statement/phrase/question over and over again
Uses the same word/statement/phrase/question over and over again
Pretty much just says the same damn word/statement/phrase/question over and over again

By using S.H.U.T.U.P. you can catch BRS early when treatment is still an option and your facial tics have yet to make you a social pariah. BRS is no laughing matter; unless you’re sarcastically mocking your child under your breath, then it’s actually pretty funny.

salty-air.jpg

“Daddy I can smell the salty air! Can you?”

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