What ever happened to the days when kids weren’t allergic to anything? It wasn’t that long ago, was it? The only memory of allergies I have growing up as the undisputed undefeated fastest kid in Saddlewood Elementary School not to mention habitual first or second teammate picked on dodge ball days in gym class and, [...]
Archive for December, 2007
Blame Jimmy Carter If Your Child Is Allergic To Peanuts
Posted in Anaphylactic Shock, Balloon Payment, E-Meter, Gay Marriage, Inflatable Girl, Jimmy Carter, John Travolta, Latex, Liberal Democrat, Magical Mystery Tour, Peanut Allergy, Peanut Farmer, Skippy Parties, Strawberry Shortcake, Uma Thurman, children on December 30, 2007 | 12 Comments »
More Trash Than You Can Shove Into George Bush’s Cowboy Hat
Posted in Chaim Potok, Dianoga, Flood of Toddlerism, Hanukkah, Natural Disaster, Noise Noise Noise, WWE, children on December 26, 2007 | 15 Comments »
Well another Christmas has come and gone here at the Gathen residence and yet again my theory that those who celebrate Hanukkah (I believe it is those of the Jewish faith) have got the right idea. Now, admittedly my working knowledge of Judaism comes from Adam Sandler songs, a viewing of Fiddler on the Roof [...]
All I Need Is This Chair
Posted in Weekly Winners, children on December 23, 2007 | 14 Comments »
December 16th – December 22nd
“And that’s it and that’s the only thing I need, is this. I don’t need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that’s all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that’s [...]
Madam I’m Adam: 8 Questions with a Toddler
Posted in Amoxicillin Fribble, Bunny's Hungry, Ear Infection, Excalibur, JD Salinger, James Gandolfini, Oreck Upright, Richard Dreyfuss, Sopranos, Stripper Pasties, children on December 21, 2007 | 7 Comments »
A clichéd bell rings as I step out of the cold and into the apple pie and Monte Cristo warmth of the near empty diner. The resonating starkness of the bell against the otherwise stillness of the dimly lit room is reminiscent of the last seconds of the Sopranos finale and I wouldn’t have been [...]
Boys Have A Penis, Girls Have a Pajama
Posted in Al Bundy, Bathroom Attendant, Copernicus, Erectile Dysfunction, Hands off Snakey, Heterogametic, Make a Wee-Wee, Penis Pump, Tootie, Y Chromosome, children on December 20, 2007 | 19 Comments »
Jack’s working theory of the known universe is an adapted version of Copernican Heliocentrism called Copernican Phalliocentrism in which everything revolves around his penis; in other words his penis is the center of the universe.
In his defense this is a phase that all heterogametic humans cursed with that damned Y sex chromosome go through in [...]
Subscribe & Bookmark
Talk to the Management
Categories
The Wine Cellar
Get This Emailed to You Free Of Charge
Our Distributor
Archives
- March 2008 (2)
- February 2008 (2)
- January 2008 (13)
- December 2007 (15)
- November 2007 (30)
- October 2007 (11)
- September 2007 (7)
- August 2007 (5)
- July 2007 (10)
- June 2007 (5)
- May 2007 (2)
Readers
