There will never come a time when I will tire of the constant stream of thoughtful friends, family members and neighbors unexpectedly stopping by the house to drop off arbitrary gifts for Jack and Adam. I don’t care if they are hand-me-downs or store bought, from FAO Schwartz or The Dollar Tree, from yard sales [...]
Archive for July, 2007
Transformers: More than low budget Japanese S&M porn
Posted in Chiropracticon, Goobers, Jack, Japanese Porn, colostomy bag on July 27, 2007 | 4 Comments »
Mary Lou Wettin
Posted in Bella Karolyi, Hot for Teacher, Jack, Yurchenko, children on July 24, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Last week Jack fell out of bed again although from our room it sounded more like he attempted a Yurchenko on the vault and over-rotated the double salto triple twist layout dismount. As any father who is jolted from sleep by a mandatory one-point deduction coming from his child’s room would do I jumped out [...]
No Primordial Soup For You
Posted in Aquasaurs, Devonian Period, Jack, Mongolian Warriors, Norman Rockwell, children on July 19, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
It’s a classic American scene straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Christmas morning, a child in pajamas crouched in front of the tree bursting with anticipation. His weary bath-robed parents smile in the background as he tears opens a gift wrapped box then beams with pure delight as dozens of prehistoric sea crustaceans leap [...]
Hey Dad, want a Hertz Donut?
Posted in Adam, Howard Dean, Kung Fu Grip, Taffy Pull, children on July 17, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Am I the only father out there who is intimidated by a 9 month old baby? Not in the “Am I being a good father and am I doing all the right things to ensure my child will grow up happy, healthy and well-adjusted?” sense but rather in the “I’m afraid to pick up my [...]
Sir, you’ve been selected for a Random Security Check.
Posted in Familiar shins, Massage, Traveling, airport security, pneumatic tubes on July 12, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Recently I had to travel to Atlanta for a conference. My flight was at 6:00 am so I awoke at 4:00 am, stumbled to my car in the pre-dawn darkness with a traveling mug of coffee and drove myself to the Albany Airport. At the security check in I was chosen for what I was [...]
Does the Number #1 come sweetened or unsweetened?
Posted in Jack, Non-Flushing Edict, Wormhole, children, virgin albino goats, whatever on July 11, 2007 | 3 Comments »
Parenting, whether we’re talking about the things we give up for our children or the blood of the virgin albino goats we offer to the Gods in return for the patience to be parents and of course a healthy crop, is about sacrifice. For us, like many other parents, it meant surrendering some of the [...]

